James 4:4-17

Spiritual Adultery

Introduction

Read vs 4-5. James now confronts his audience with another serious problem—adultery.

You all know what adultery is. It's when someone is committed to give his love and devotion and his body to his spouse alone—but then he betrays her by giving these things to someone else instead. Adultery is the ultimate act of betrayal in a personal relationship (CONFRONTATION W/ MINIMIZER). Although adultery is glorified by the media as something that will put the spice back in your life, I know from counseling others that adultery is a terrible, destructive act which shatters marriages and lives. Maybe you have experienced this yourself on one end or the other. The outrage, hurt, injury—the ultimate feeling of being betrayed is incredible. The guilt of seeing what the act did to your spouse is unbearable.

Were they all going out on their spouses? No, they were doing something far worse than this. They were committing spiritual adultery.

The Bible describes the relationship that God desires with each of us in extremely personal terms. According to Paul, when we receive Christ, we become “betrothed” to him. This relationship will not be fully consummated until Christ's return, but we have entered into a permanent covenant relationship—one in which we are pledged to give our deepest devotion and service to him alone (2 Corinthians 11:2-3). Christ views this commitment with utter seriousness, he gives us his Holy Spirit as an “engagement ring” to show how committed he is, and he expects us to be faithful to him until that day.

Imagine what it would feel like to be engaged and discover that your fiancee was sleeping with someone else!! What would it mean if you just dispassionately accepted this? Granted, human jealousy is easily corrupted so that it erupts in hatred and violence. But the essential reaction of jealousy in this situation is righteous and an evidence of your love! Is it surprising that God feels outrage and jealousy when his people betray him by giving their love and service and devotion to someone/thing else?

Listen to how God describes Israel's worship of idols (Ezekiel 16:25-26, 28-34) and his reaction to it (Ezekiel 6:9).

Here, James says God has the same kind of reaction when Christians become illicitly involved in what he calls the “world” (read vs 4-5 again). In order to understand spiritual adultery, we must first understand the world . . . 

What is the “world?”

It is not the physical earth or other people. God loves these things and we should too. Neither is the world entertainment like playing cards, drinking, dancing and movies. You can play cards, drink, dance and watch movies and not be corrupted by the world; or you can abstain from all four of these things and yet be deeply enmeshed in the world. There is something much deeper involved here.

Kosmos means “orderly arrangement” or “system” (thus “cosmetic”). Here (as elsewhere in the Bible) it means the counterfeit system of values, goals and affections which is designed to seduce us from a love-trust relationship with God. In other words, the kosmos is a highly sophisticated idol. In Revelations, it is pictured as a HARLOT who seduces people and destroys their souls.

In 1 John 2:15-16, John tells us the kosmos is made up of three “things.” These things are the essence of the “world.” Like all effective temptations, each is a perversion of something essentially good.

The “lust of the flesh” refers to the inordinate desire for sensual gratification (HEDONISM). God gave us the capacity for sensual pleasure, and he tells us that there is no intrinsic value in experiencing pain. But to live our lives around the pursuit of pleasure and the avoidance of pain is to live as an animal. We live in a culture which tells that we are essentially animals and therefore “If it feels good, do it!” And so God becomes, if anything, a means to providing me with pleasure and escaping pain (4:3), rather than an end—one to love and serve and, yes, even sacrifice for.

This is not just the DRUG ADDICT (MAN >> MONKEY COMMERCIAL) or ORGIES. This is all forms of substance abuse/dependence, all sexual involvements outside marriage (including pornography), gluttony, sloth, etc. Why does advertising use sex so much? Because they are trying to link their products to a known desire.

The “lust of the eye” refers to the inordinate desire to acquire, accumulate and enjoy material things (MATERIALISM). Again, God is the creator of all material things and he says he “supplies us richly with all things to enjoy.” But to when you define your identity in terms of how much you make and your happiness in terms of your next acquisition and your security in terms of how much you have, this is idolatry because you are living for things instead of for God. The lust of the eye has nothing to do with how much you actually have; it has to do with how much wanting things crowds out your desire to know and love and serve God.

This is not just “LIFESTYLES OF THE RICH & FAMOUS” or KIDS KILLING EACH OTHER FOR A PAIR OF TENNIS SHOES. This is also the AMERICAN DREAM with its kaleidoscopic array of things for every stage of your life (MALL AS TEMPLE). It also includes the preoccupation with physical beauty over character.

The “boastful pride of life” refers to the inordinate desire for self-determination and self-affirmation (EGOTISM). God gave us free will, so it is good to exercise the power of choice. But when we use our freedom of choice to live autonomously instead of to serve and do his will, this is idolizing self. God also gave us a sense of self-worth and he wants us to feel good about who we are and what we do. But when we seek praise from other people more than God's praise, we have idolized self and become corrupted.

This is not just obvious self-deification like HITLER or DAVID KORESH. This is what runs ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT; CORPORATE WORLD; POLITICS; RELIGION! This is not just obvious autonomous self-determination like AYN RAND. Read vs 13-16. This mindset is the American way of life!

Commiseration with the kosmos is an issue of your values and the affections of your heart. The following questions may help you to assess the extent of your own involvement.

What is your favorite fantasy? What would you do/be if you knew you couldn't fail? (OK TO LOOK FORWARD TO RECREATION, PARTY, VACATION, ETC.—BUT IS THIS ALL? WHAT ABOUT INTIMACY WITH & SERVING GOD?)

Who do you most admire? What do you admire most about this person? (LOOKS, MONEY, POSITION, ETC.—OR CHARACTER, LOVE FOR GOD, FRUITFULNESS FOR HIM?)

Who are your closest friends? What are the common interests around which these friendships are built? (ENTERTAINMENT; WORK; ETC.—OR SPIRITUAL GROWTH & SERVICE?)

How do you habitually spend your spare time and money? (ENTERTAINMENT, PRUDENT SAVINGS ARE OK—BUT WHAT ABOUT GENEROUS GIVING TO GOD'S WORK, INVESTMENT IN YOUR OWN GROWTH & SERVICE?)

What are your short-term and long-term goals? Where do you want to be 5, 10 years from now? What difference will these goals make 100 years from now? (FINANCIAL, EDUCATIONAL GOALS ARE FINE—BUT WHAT ABOUT SPIRITUAL GOALS LIKE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT, GROUNDING, MINISTRY EQUIPPING & DEPLOYMENT?)

What do you want most for your children? (ONLY EDUCATION, GOOD JOB, ETC.—OR GODLY CHARACTER & IMPACT FOR CHRIST MOST OF ALL?)

How do you view retirement? (AS A TIME TO REALLY CONCENTRATE ON ENJOYING YOURSELF—OR AS A TIME OF GREATER FREEDOM TO SERVE GOD?)

GOSPEL: It should be evident by now that, because of its pervasiveness and subtlety, it is very easy to spend your whole life enmeshed in the kosmos. Remember its purpose—to distract you from coming to know God so that instead you waste your life for a few moments of pleasure and glitter and applause. “What does it profit a person if he gains the whole world and loses his soul?” (Mark 8:36) God is offering you an alternative to this—a personal love relationship with him, a new purpose for this life, and the gift of eternal life with him. All this is offered to you through Jesus Christ. That's why the first step in combating the kosmos is to receive Christ.

CHRISTIANS: All of us struggle with attraction to the kosmos. Christians who say they don't are either ignorant of what it is or very self-deceived. Many of us would have to admit at least we have been flirting (TOE-DANGLING) with the kosmos—a very dangerous thing to do. And some of us would have to admit that we have been SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY—that we have betrayed the One to whom we are engaged, who really cares for us—and that we have allowed ourselves to be seduced into spiritually fornicating with a harlot who is only using us!

Steps to liberation from spiritual adultery

How can we live lives that are free from spiritual adultery? Like a wise and loving counselor helping an unfaithful spouse put his marriage back together, James supplies us with the steps we need to take.

Realize the extent of God's grace (vs 6). No matter how far away from him we have strayed, he is so loving that he is always willing to take us back and rebuild the relationship. And he is well able to supply us with the resources to live faithfully to him in the world. This is an amazing feature of God's grace (PRODIGAL SON).

James explains how to experience this grace in vs 7-10. He gives us three specific steps to take and promises a different aspect of God's grace in response to each step. Let's look at them in reverse order.

Acknowledge your betrayal and turn from it (vs 8b-10). There can be no real reconciliation in a marriage which has experienced adultery unless the adulterer confesses, takes responsibility, asks for forgiveness, and clearly turns away from the adulterous relationship (WHY I COUNSEL ADULTERERS TO CONFESS).

WHAT IS INVOLVED IN THIS: Alone before God, we must acknowledge to him our unfaithfulness specifically and without rationalizing. We should call it what it is—spiritual adultery—and cast ourselves on his mercy. Depending on the degree and duration of your betrayal, there may be strong feelings of sorrow and shame as we realize that the very things we were excited about and relished were in fact betrayals of our true lover (vs 9). We will usually see clearly what it means to terminate the immoral relationship and how to do it (vs 8b).

THE GRACE GOD GIVES IN RESPONSE: “He will exalt you.” What an amazing statement! Not “he will let you stay because he has to”—God will lift you up and show you off as his prized possession! He will flood your heart with assurance of his forgiveness and delight in his commitment to you. That's a lot of grace!!

But this is not enough. Unless you replace your involvement with the kosmos with real involvement with God, you will be drawn back into it (VACUUM). That's why James gives us two additional steps . . . 

Initiate relational intimacy with God (vs 8a). To restore a marriage after adultery, there must not only be sincere repentance and forgiveness. The unfaithful one must also choose to believe he has been forgiven and resume personal intimacy in the relationship—sharing your thoughts, showing affection, expressing interest in her interests, etc.

WHAT IS INVOLVED IN THIS: Unlike many marriages, God never became distant from us, got too busy for us, etc. It is always we who wander away from him relationally and then get attracted to the kosmos, and so it is always we who must return to him (FEELING DISTANT FROM GOD? GUESS WHO MOVED?). As Oswald Sanders put it, “You are as close to God right now as you habitually choose (not desire) to be.” In spite of feelings of shame or aversion, we need to choose to draw near to God to thank him for his mercy, pour our hearts out to him and to listen to him.

(NOTE: Of course, maintaining relational intimacy is the best ways to prevent adultery in the first place. Adultery is almost always preceded by allowing personal intimacy to deteriorate. I am least likely to be romantically attracted to another person when I am regularly initiating with and investing in and enjoying my spouse.)

THE GRACE GOD GIVES IN RESPONSE: “He will draw near to you.” Without one word of reproach, without any desire to “rub our noses in it,” God responds with sharing himself with us and showing his love in various ways. This is what he wanted all along, and he is delighted to be able to relate to us in this way again. It is not true that it will take weeks and months before we expect to have this kind of restored relationship with God. Unlike a human spouse, who is finite and sinful and who therefore takes time to regain his trust, God knows our hearts perfectly and therefore responds immediately to our repentance.

Get involved in the battle as God's servant (vs 7). We are called not only to receive God's forgiveness and to know God in personal intimacy; we are also called to serve him in battle. Both of these imperatives are military terms. “Submit” is not passive (“I give up”); it means to actively seek God's direction for my role in his service and then go to it whole-heartedly. “Resist” means to refuse to be distracted from this service, no matter how intimidating or enticing the distraction (read 2 Timothy 2:2-3). God has a role for each of us to play in communicating his love and truth to those who don't know him, and in building up fellow-Christians so that they are effective in playing their roles. There is no lasting liberation from spiritual adultery that does not include cultivating a “wartime” lifestyle.

As a church, one of our main purposes is to facilitate you to fight in this battle. That's why we have Grounding Groups and Ministry Teams. We aren't “playing church”—we are equipping and deploying an army for war!

THE GRACE GOD GIVES IN RESPONSE: “He will flee from you.” Satan's authority over our lives is broken as we submit to God in this way. As long as we walk humbly before God, stay in vital contact with him, and remain at our posts actively serving him, Satan can and will attack us in various ways, but he cannot wreak havoc and destruction in our lives (contra DAVID w/ BATHSHEBA).

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