By Cynthia Ulrich

This book offers insight and encouragement for parents and teachers of strong willed children. It also offers a great deal of practical help on how to motivate them and build a positive relationship. The practical advice would also work well for very energetic kids!

The author is wise to provide a list of characteristics that help to determine whether your child truly is a SWC (Strong Willed Child) or if you clash due to different learning styles (i.e. how you think things should be done). One main characteristic of a SWC is their need for control and the fact that he/she is willing to suffer any consequence or punishment as long as it leaves them in control. Ulrich points out that almost everything in our relationship with an SWC - both positive and negative - tends to be more extreme. Because the relationship is more stressed, we need to take great care in putting time into building a loving relationship and choosing our battles (because most aren't worth putting the relationship at risk).

It is important to know that SWC's react very negatively to commands and ultimatums - give them room to negotiate. The author also offers much practical advice on how to motivate your SWC to perform in school. As it turns out, the very attributes that get them into trouble at school are the ones that get them hired in the real world: the gift of gab, resourcefulness, thinking outside the lines, taking initiative, being independent, figuring out unique angles, using a vivid imagination!

Ulrich issues a strong warning on not being too quick to label these children as "learning disabled," but challenges parents and teachers to tap into their creativity and potential. As she points out, SWC's have great potential. Some famous examples are Thomas Edison, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.

Keep in mind, however, that all kids are strong willed at certain developmental stages of life (ex. 2 1/2 and teens). Ulrich’s advice works well for these ages - just make sure you don't keep an image of your child that does not apply in the long run. Also, she does not distinguish between aggressive and passive strong will or how temperament plays a role in a child's behavior.

Recommendation: This book is interesting and a fast read with many stories and much practical advice. I highly recommend this book. I think parents and teachers will greatly benefit from it.