In this follow-up book to How to Really Love Your Child, Ross Campbell presents ways in which parents can learn to communicate unconditional love to their teens.

Chapter 1 -- Campbell makes the point that teens are not young adults, and that their emotional needs are still those of children. He claims that the anger and confusion of adolescence is due to a negative self concept resulting from not feeling genuinely loved and cared for.

Chapter 2 -- The most important relationship in the home is the marriage. The security of a teen is largely dependent on the quality of the marriage. The ability to communicate feelings, particularly unpleasant feelings, is critical in the marital relationship. He warns against "role reversal"— where parents lean on their teen as a counselor and confidant.

Chapter 3 -- The basic foundation for a solid relationship with your teenager is unconditional love. If loved unconditionally, he will feel good about himself and be able to control his anxiety and behavior. If a parent overreacts emotionally, the lines of communication can be broken and the teen may turn to his peers for emotional nurture. The more a parent loses self-control in front of their teen, the less respect the teen will have for them.

Chapter 4 -- The greatest need a teenager has is for focused attention. Without it he feels insecure—and therefore more influenced by peer pressure. Adolescents need MORE time with family not less.

Chapter 5 -- Appropriate and frequent eye and physical contact are two of the most precious gifts you can give your teenager--touch their shoulder, massage a sore muscle, or scratch their back.

Chapter 6 – A terrific chapter on PARENTAL SELF-CONTROL. Emotional overreaction tends to cause an adolescent to respect the parent less. How can you expect good self-control from your teenager if you do not have it yourself? Nothing severs communication with a teen worse than parental anger.

Chapter 7 – The best chapter on TEENAGE ANGER! Young people tend to express anger immaturely until TRAINED to do otherwise. Campbell’s Anger Ladder illustrates the different levels of maturity in expressing anger. Passive-aggressive behavior is the worst way to express anger. It causes most problems with today’s teenagers from poor grades to drugs and suicide.

Chapter 8 -- From parent control to self-control. The goal is to control the rate by which the teen gains independence based on their level of maturity.

Chapter 9 -- Teenage depression is difficult to identify because there are often no typical signs. In addition to changes in energy, sleep, appetite, and problems handling anger, they may have a decreased attention span, poor grades, boredom, physical complaints, or withdrawal. Boys often act out their depression through stealing/fighting, whereas girls act out sexually.

CRITIQUE: Campbell gives some excellent practical advice on how to effectively communicate unconditional love to teenagers. However, I feel he puts too much emphasis on feelings and self-esteem. He seems to put forth self-esteem as a panacea for all teenage problems: if we can make them feel loved and feel good about themselves, we can prevent depression, substance abuse, or immorality. In addition to his often-simplistic solutions, he also comes across uptight and rigid at times. All in all I would recommend this book, especially the chapters on dealing with anger in our teens and in ourselves.