Summary:

1. Essential core qualities
2. Into the World - Mission Statement
3. Meaningful engagement

I. Essential core qualities:

• Gratitude – "Cornerstone of Integrity" Why?

• Because a lack of gratitude is often indicative of self focus or unrealistic expectations

• Because a lack of gratitude robs us of the motivation to move ahead and drains us of a realistic perspective

Role model for gratitude: Solomon?

Solomon - had everything; easy life (his father had secured most of the kingdom), riches (legendary wealth) , power and fame (Queen of Sheba came to confirm the stories). 1,000 wives and concubines

• He denied himself no pleasure or possession

• His conclusion: life is vanity, "chasing after the wind"

Why was he ungrateful for the tremendous wealth and power he had attained?
Solomon appears to have made a crucial error...

 

When we mistake our deep longings   for relationship and significance for material need,   we can never be satisfied.

 

Barriers to gratitude: Material Myths

1. The Myth of Perfection - we reserve our sense of gratitude for those times when we are unequivocally happy and unburdened.

If my life has chronic or incompletely resolved problems, we think..."I can’t be happy" what a sad conclusion!

We have to come to grips with the truth that pain and happiness can coexist

If I think that my life must be pain-free or struggle-free, I will not be grateful

 

2. Unrealistic Expectations (what is normal house, income, vacation,)

If I think that I should have all that I want, I will not be grateful

 

3. The "I Deserve" Myth (the most insidious material myth)

If I think that I am worthy of more than I have, I will not be grateful.

 

4. Possessions have the power to make me happy (the most blatant material myth).

If I think that I will be happy when I get… (salary, house, etc), I will not be grateful

 

Paradox of gratitude: it is gained more readily by simplicity than from excess

5. They won’t love me if I don’t give them what they want (the most enslaving material myth)

If I think that they only love me when I give them things, neither of us will be grateful

 

Who is the real role model...? Paul of Tarsus

Phil 4:11-12 "Not that I speak from want; for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need."

• Empathy – Foundation of Moral development

• The Moral Child : Examples of "empathic dysfunction" "What do I care? I’m not her."

• Why is Empathy so Important?

• Identification with others promotes value

• Recognition of impact promotes sensitivity

• Respect for the needs of others promotes justice and compassion

• Development of Empathy

• Support their natural inclination

• Teach them to recognize emotions (impact)

• Teach them to act according to justice, not personal gain

 

• Resilience – Ability to flourish even in times of adversity ("surviving" is not enough)

"Springing back to a former shape or position after being bent or compressed"

• Not attaching huge emotional significance to adversity – realistic expectations

• Balancing sensitivity and objectivity

 

Gratitude         >>        Empathy     >>       Resilience

Humility                      Compassion            Perseverance

External focus           Justice                     Stability

 

Recognition of         Recognition of         Recognition of reality:
personal need           others’ needs           expectations and perspective

Luke 7: 36-50          Love neighbor:         In the world: "Be of good
Forgiven much       fulfill the Law           cheer" "I have overcome"

Essential core qualities: Gratitude, Empathy and Resilience

 

II. Into the World:

Into the World: Purpose

• Why am I here?

• What is the purpose of life?

"...may the whole earth be filled with His glory." Psalm 72:19

"Everyone who is called by My name, and whom I have created for My glory..." Isaiah 43:7

• "Glory" the reflection of His character

• Forgiveness
• Reconciliation
• Justice

Into the World: Vision

• Who do I want to become?

• What is the goal?

• How can I get there?

Family Mission Statement

• What is the purpose of our family?
• What do we hope to stand for?
• What do we hope to accomplish?

We exist as a family to glorify God...

By following God’s leading in our lives and demonstrating His character.
By developing open and loving relationships and bringing hope to the world around us.
By developing personal integrity and finding happiness through gratitude and service to others.
By participating in His purpose to reconcile the world to Himself.

III.  Meaningful Engagement

• Quality versus Quantity?

The Most Dangerous Myth:   You can have it all!

• Great career
• Loving family
• Leisure time

Actually, sometimes you CAN...     But not all at once...

Relationship requires investment

"It Takes a Village ..." But we live in isolation

Tension about the workplace

• Women have a vital role to play in professional life

• Cooperative and inclusive leadership style

• Flexibility and sensitivity

• Purpose, challenge and accomplishment
  

• Children have a profound need for continuity in relationship and consistent investment
  

• We are confronted with a historically unprecedented conflict of interest

• Never before have career opportunities been as open to women

• Never before has parenting been as complex and isolated an endeavor as today

• The challenges that face the modern family require tremendous wisdom and balance.
  

Back to the Mission Statement ...

• What do we want?

• What are our core values?

• What are we willing to put aside for awhile?
  

Values Statement

• Few life decisions demonstrate more clearly what our core values really are than decisions about our work

• With time, children intuitively understand why their parents are gone.
  

Barriers to daytime investment

• We can’t afford it!

• I would be so bored and unfulfilled!

• I don’t know what to do at home!

Video

• Interviews with women about their career and family choices

• My sincere apologies to the men!

Can we parent well in less than ideal circumstances?     YES!

There is no "only way" model

• Let go of our agenda

• Look at the current needs and resources

• Seek godly counsel

• Let God be the Shepherd
  

God as Shepherd

• It is His job to lead us, not our job to wander after our own answers.

• It is inconceivable that He would give us such a complex task and then send us to do it alone.

• He will let us know when we are off track
  

Do we really want to know?

• Biblical truth is always available:

"does not wisdom call?..." Prov. 8:1

• Biblical truth requires a receptive heart:

"with their ears they scarcely hear..." Mt 13

• Do we really believe that God is the Rock and foundation?

A word to men ...

• The success of this venture rests equally on both of you – it’s not the "women’s job"

• A stay home mom is not a personal maid

• She can do it if she knows that you respect and support her choice

• We must redefine success and accomplishment
  

What are we afraid of?

• Cost

• Control

• Roles, cooperation and respect
  

"Time" at home is not the issue

Purposeful engagement

Personal agenda

I am hopeful about the family

• We CAN raise healthy children in a troubled world
• Character is the issue

"For the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth
that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His."
2 Chronicles 16:9

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