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Parenting Values and Trends From the 1950’s to 2001

Post Depression, Post WW II Parenting: the 50’s and 60’s

• Values: Community, Reputation, Moralism
• Vision: Material Advancement
• Characteristics: Little Concern for Emotional Openness.
• Good Parenting: Education, Moral Behavior
• Sense of Community: High
• Causes: Global - Sacrifice is Noble

Parenting in the Rise of Relativism: the 60’s and 70’s

• Values: Individualism and Tolerance
• Vision: Personal Fulfillment
• Characteristics: Popular Relativism
• Good Parenting: Encourage Personal Freedom
• Sense of Community: Declining
• Causes: Personal Rights

Parenting in the New Age: the 80’s and 90’s

• Values: Personal Rights and Values, Isolation
• Vision: Emotional Sensitivity
• Characteristics: "I Deserve" & Emotional Peace
• Parenting: Protection from Emotional Stress
• Sense of Community: Low
• Causes: Personally Remote - Environmental or Humanitarian. Checks and Slogans

Globalization and Diversity:
Parenting in the 21st Century

• Values: Integrity, Commitment, Compassion
• Vision: Personal Contribution to God's Purposes
• Characteristics: Discernment, Resilience and Gratitude
• Parenting: Defined as Relational and Purposeful.
• Sense of Community: Demonstration of Grace
• Causes: Willing to Act at Personal Cost

Resilience Flexibility

Acceptance of others Gratitude

Hope Courage

Low Investment, Low Anxiety:

• Career or ministry is idealized and the family is put off.
• If we are not there for them when they need us, they will not need us when we are there. (Especially as teens)

High Investment, High Anxiety:

• Fear for the family cripples ability to reach out to others and to live effectively.
•  If our choices and lifestyle are tentative and fearful, what does that say about the Gospel?

Low Investment, High Anxiety:

• Distracted parents who are nervous and worried about culture, safety or success.
• They do not spend time interacting with and reassuring their children.

High Investment, Low Anxiety:

• Confident parents who are able to maintain a healthy perspective about their work and living conditions.

•   Our challenge is to live boldly and invest deeply.

Our prayer is for wisdom and courage.

1. Absolute Obedience: "Obey, obey, obey" until their 18^th birthday...

What have we taught them?

2. Permissive Pampering: "OK, OK, OK" until their 18th birthday...

What have we taught them?

We must change our approach as their needs and abilities change.

1. Directive

2. Facilitative

Outcome Continuums:

• Resilience ......................... Fragility
• Flexibility.......................... Fearful rigidity
• Acceptance of others .…... Intolerance
• Gratitude ......................... Dissatisfaction
• Hope ................................ Discouragement
• Courage ............................ Self protection

1. Functional - Goal qualities: adaptable, confident, creative, capable, obedient, persevering, willing to speak up, to try new things …

• Allow for "cheap failure": If all failure is costly, the child will become fearful of trying.

• The need for endurance:

• The need to accept delayed gratification:

2. Emotional - Goal qualities: mature love ability, self-control, appropriate emotional expression, balanced perspective on guilt, doubt and conscience.

3. Spiritual - Goal qualities: spiritual alertness and commitment, Bible knowledge and wisdom in application, discernment, compassion.

Biblical Goal Setting:

1. Set goals with specific Biblical concepts in mind:

 

2. Differentiate between attitude and function goals:

 

3. Elements of attitude:
1. Not innate
2. Require Perspective
3. Require cultivation or training
4. Biblical goals may or may not conform to family or cultural expectations.

 

5. Biblical goals apply regardless of personality or temperament.

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