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Developing a Theology of Failure |
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The biggest problem with many of us in Xenos is that we are soft from too much success. We are like a child riding a bike on training wheels who thinks he has actually learned to ride. His parents warn him, "It’s a little harder when you take the wheels off," but until you actually do take them off, the kid continues to enjoy a false sense of mastery. Once the wheels come off, the child may have to endure a few nasty crackups that could lead to tears, and even a refusal to ride any more. But without removing the wheels, he will never learn to ride.
In our training, failure has played a prominent role, and in fact a crucial role that success never could have played. We have failed at more ministry attempts than most in our church have ever tried! Bible studies, personal evangelism, discipleship, and overall fellowship direction are all venues where we have tasted deeply of failure, often with embarrassment and disgrace. While we still don’t like to fail, we increasingly realize that nothing teaches us more than our failures.
From failure we learn:
Leaders thus broken through failure become suitable tools in the hands of the Lord. But unbroken leaders pose a threat to the health and spirituality of the church. Leaders accustomed to nothing but success become, themselves, hard to lead. They are always convinced they are right, and will fight to preserve their base as though their self-worth depended on it, which it often does. In their dread of failure, they may become downright unethical and manipulative. They find it hard to listen to the wisdom of others because they can’t help but observe that their own ideas seem to be working perfectly well. Such unbroken leaders not only fear failure in themselves, but also in others. They may become unwilling to let others have the chance to fail, and this leads to poor delegation in discipleship. When success becomes the be-all and end-all in ministry, it is an idol that God must throw down. Note that failure may come in an area other than our main ministry, but it will surely come.
Note that super-spiritual believers have particular problems with failure. Their theology assumes that such things shouldn't happen if the leader is truly spirit-filled. When failure comes the leader is likely to lose composure, and their following (who have been taught super-spiritual principles) are likely to reject them because they don't have God on their side (or some formula along these lines).
Nothing would advance most of us more than getting some good failure under our belts! It isn't that bad once you get used to it, and the fruit over the long haul is well worth the pain. Consider how fear of failure can affect the church:
If you suffer from fear of failure, ask yourself, "What is the worst thing that could happen to me if I fail?" Does failure in ministry really endanger our lives, or only our egos? The ego-centered minister dreads failure mainly because he will have to admit it to colleagues or others he hopes to impress. Just imagining himself admitting defeat can send the ego-driven leader into a panic of self-protection. But God has called us to deny self and serve in ministry, not to be glorified by it. Mentally practice shrugging your shoulders before colleagues and saying, "Yeah, that didn’t work out, but at least we tried" and don’t forget to add, "I guess we’d better try again!" The only defense you need is, "I felt like I did my best."