Xenos Christian Fellowship

Christian Leadership 2 - Pastoral Counseling

Week 6 - Common Pastoral Counseling Issues

Introduction





Sexual Damage

HETEROSEXUAL SIN

When counseling Christians who seek healing, consider the following:













Christians with a background of heterosexual impurity who are considering marriage should ask themselves the following questions:











HOMOSEXUALITY & BISEXUALITY

You may need to counter the wide-spread myth that homosexuality is genetically determined.





Stress the biblical position





As with other sin-habits, distinguish between spontaneously emerging lusts and temptations one the one hand, and acting on these lusts and temptations on the other hand.







Prioritize building healthy close friendships with other growing Christians of the same sex to whom they are not sexually attracted.







Celibacy for homosexual Christians is a valid option.





Considerations for Christians from a homosexual background who are considering marriage:









FOR FURTHER STUDY: Stanley R. Strong, "Christian Counseling with Homosexuals," Journal of Psychology and Theology: 1980 (279-287); John White, The Fight, pp. 105-139; Thomas Schmidt, Straight and Narrow (InterVarsity, 1995); Gary DeLashmutt, "An Approach to Christian Counseling for Homosexuals and Bisexuals"

PORNOGRAPHY

Those who are immersed in a pornography habit are doing serious damage to themselves:









Consider the following steps in helping Christians get freedom from pornography:









FOR FURTHER STUDY: Harry W. Schaumburg, False Intimacy (NavPress, 1997)



RAPE, MOLESTATION & INCEST

Many sexual abuse victims are reluctant to bring this out into the light with other trusted Christian friends.





Especially with long-term abuse victims, you may need to enlist the help of others.



Sexual abuse victims usually need help in the following areas:







Urge single abuse victims to take steps toward healing before they get married.



In marriage, both spouses should be prepared to make special sacrifices in their sexual relationship, in accordance with 1 Cor. 7:3-5.





What about those who are guilty of past molestation and/or incest?



FOR FURTHER STUDY: Dan Allender, The Wounded Heart (NavPress, 1990); Jan Frank, A Door of Hope (Thomas Nelson, 1995); Heitreitter & Vought, Helping Victims of Sexual Abuse (Bethany House, 1989)



Other Issues

DIVORCE & REMARRIAGE

A biblical view of divorce includes these emphases:









When counseling people in fellowship who are contemplating divorce, consider these options:











When counseling divorced people who are contemplating remarriage:











FOR FURTHER STUDY: Donald W. Shaner, A Christian View of Divorce According to the New Testament (Leiden: E. J. Brill, 1969); John MacArthur, The MacArthur New Testament Commentary: 1 Corinthians (Chicago: Moody Press, 1984), pp. 153-186.

SUBSTANCE ABUSE



Drug abuse, including not only illegal drugs but also abusing legal prescriptions, should be terminated. See below for guidelines on helping people do this.



We do not teach “total abstinence” from alcohol as God's will for all Christians based on biblical grounds--even those who have abused alcohol. Furthermore, there are different kinds of alcohol abuse, which call for different steps required for freedom.









Substance abusers will usually need to take the following measures to gain freedom:







REMEMBER:



FOR FURTHER STUDY: http://www.xenos.org/ministries/crossroads/OnlineJournal/issue4/alcohol.htm



ABORTION

Many may be reluctant to bring this into the light





Usually need help in the following areas:





Encourage participation in the H.E.A.R.T ministry

MASTURBATION

Our outlook on masturbation by singles should steer a course mid-way between two extremes:





Masturbation is a more serious issue for married people.



Mutual masturbation by dating or engaged couples constitutes serious sexual impurity.



FOR FURTHER STUDY: John White, The Fight, "Sex On a Desert Island;" Dennis McCallum, "Observations on Masturbation"



Remember to keep emphasizing God's power to heal!



Assignment Due Next Week

Study for Final Exam (to be taken at the Study Center between 3/20/08 – 4/10/08

Memory Verses

None this week

Key Points to Know for Exam

  1. Be able to describe the six steps that can help Christians seeking healing from a past of heterosexual impurity.

  2. Understand the four steps that can help people gain freedom from pornography.

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