Specific Elements of Trust Triangle

PP

What happened? What caused the emotional disturbance? As the person shares the issue(s), listen for the facts, feelings, demands, wants, and beliefs as indicated by the “I think, I believe, I need…” type of statements. Be sure you understand the issue(s).

Sinful Reaction

This is our flesh (Galatians 5:19ff) being revealed. Paul calls it the “former manner of life” (Ephesians 4:22). How we react is how we have learned to control and manage our lives, in order to self protect and to get what we want. What are the affects (emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually, and relationally) on ourselves, spouse, children, God, and others?

Idol-Fear

Our sinful behavior stem from motives of the heart. Our fears and idols motivate our sinful behavior. We fear the loss of _____ or fear not getting _____ or are worried about_____. Common fears center on failure, rejection, change or exposure (loss of control, powerless, anxious). For every fear, there is a corresponding idol or “functional” god. A functional god is “what or who actually controls your actions, thoughts, emotions, attitudes, memories, and anticipation's. Note well: your ‘functional god' (i.e., “If I am a success in my career, I will be happy.” Therefore, if I lose my job, I am a failure as a person.) in a particular situation often stands diametrically opposed to your ‘professed God'”. ¹

Fears center on what we don't want. Idols center on what we do want. It isn't just that we want it, we MUST have it. The desire becomes a demand, something we can't live without. Common idols are power/success (“I must have influence and status; I must achieve; I must always succeed; be the best; always win”. Accomplishment or success equals value or self worth) or to belong/ acceptance (“I must be loved, taken care of, belong, be noticed, be appreciated, given credit”) or safety/comfort (“Life must be easy, no problems, always fair, stable, no conflicts, hassle free, painless, no hardship, calm”. Peace at any price) and finally controlled (“I need sameness and order. I need to control others or situations.”).

There are numerous “strategies” we pursue to satisfy our idols and fears. One person may become a “man-pleaser” to ensure they will never be rejected where another person may seek sexual encounters to “feel” loved.

Also, we can have different idols at different times. However, an idol is usually revealed during times of suffering, since fear of loss of what we treasure and have faith in will be exposed.

We can summarize this discussion on idols and fears with the following chart:

• Power/success - “I must have influence and status; my reputation must remain intact; I must achieve; I must always succeed; be the best; always win.” Accomplishment or success equals value or self worth.
• Belong/ acceptance - “I must be loved, taken care of, belong, be noticed, be appreciated, given credit.”
• Safety/peace/comfort - “Life must be easy, no problems, always fair, stable, no conflicts, hassle free, painless, no hardship, calm.” Peace at any cost.
• Control - “I need sameness and order. I need to control others or situations.” Things have to be done my way or they're wrong.

Note that our wrong worship is a horizontal AND a vertical problem. Not only do we sin against ourselves and others to get what we want, but we also sin against God since we are worshipping something else rather than Him.

Crisis of Faith

As we wrestle with the presenting problem, our faith will be challenged. Either we will trust God and be obedient to his Word, or we will ultimately trust ourselves and be enslaved. It's our freewill choice.

Conclusion

In most cases, the Trust Triangle provides a systematic model in considering the issue at hand. It provides a window into the person's heart where the external behaviors have their roots. By exposing the idols and fears that have replaced God, the person has the opportunity for real change. Sanctification (real change) begins with repentance, which continues with the process of learning God's truth. Truth is then faithfully applied by loving others with complete dependency on God to empower us. Over time, the Holy Spirit performs the work of sanctification, working from the inside out. In turn, we experience walking by faith in the power of the Holy Spirit, as we trust God when our faith is challenged.

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